Religions won’t always agree; so how do we make a relationship with a partner of a different religion work knowing this? First, we have to be at peace with not agreeing on certain things. Much of the beauty, drama and vibrancy of this world, is that which is different from what we are and what we are used to. Being exposed to new and contrasting opinions is one of the adventures of life, embrace that. Sometimes though, those differing opinions may harm your ego and cause you hurt and pain. It is difficult to tell you how to handle such situations because each one will be unique. Don’t let your ego (or a reflection of your own ego onto God)1 get in your way of peace. Who knows what the truth is besides those that have directly witnessed it. The rest of us are at the mercy of what we have been told, passed on from person to person. The religious, rightly or wrongly, rely on faith to guide our hearts. Each religious person does this, therefore we should respect the religion of the next and be at peace with your partner not accepting the same ideas as you. Focus instead on those many things that most religions do agree on.
It has been my experience that some views maintained by some religious groups are particularly hurtful to those that do not belong to that group. If your partner expresses one of those hurtful opinions, then let him or her know how that makes you feel openly, calmly and honestly. Do not do this in a “waging war” kind of way, because war begets war. Speak always in a calm but feeling manner. Always be honest, but always be composed and compassionate in your approach. Encourage logical dialogue to seek out common ground on a topic. Do not believe that there is no home for logic in religion. Without logic, we are little better than animals. Logic and faith can live together and both should be employed in this aspect of our lives.
An activity my husband use to engage each other on religious philosophies is to use made-up “case studies” and apply the philosophies or laws of our religions to these case studies. We then discuss the justness of these laws in our opinions. What is important is that our philosophy on basic moral values (such as truth, love, non-violence, peace, right conduct) are aligned. When we use these values like a Litmus Test in any case study or real life challenge, we will then almost always come to the same conclusion, and this is where it matters.
Remember, it takes maturity to have a peaceful conversation about religion and it takes composure and humility not to become inflamed in the face of disagreement.
1Often we reflect our own personality traits onto God, expecting Him/Her to be much like us – power hungry, egotistical, competitive. But to me, God is beyond these human traits and we need to move beyond them too. After-all, who is there for God to compete with? Whether you call God Him or Her, Higher Consciousness or Higher Self or Light or Love, we can probably all agree that there is no equal.